Death has a way of bringing the most unlikely people together for a like cause. And in this scenario, tonight two attorneys, a businessman, an artist/actor, a retired priest, an adopted child and I came together to celebrate the life of a lady we each loved in our own special way.
It had been a long seven days since our beloved Hazel had passed away and each of our hearts was heavy with the loss of someone who was larger than life. Everyone admitted to tears in private but was attempting to maintain an exterior that didn't lend itself to a public display of grief. There were things to do, roles to play, business to take care of that dictated proper decorum, and after all, with the exception of the child and me, these were grown men. Somehow, we all knew that if we could just make it through the week, tonight, things would be much better. So we gathered at Hazel's favorite restaurant, dragging our grief through the door like a weight almost too heavy to bear.
We toasted her memory with a glass of wine and a picture of her I had taken several months ago in that same restaurant with a glass of wine in her hand a a smile we had all seen a thousand times before. As we each began to share our memories, we learned a little more about the woman we thought we knew so well. We listened, we shed a few tears, we hugged....but mostly we laughed. We laughed long and hard at the antics of this wonderful person who had taught us all to laugh at ourselves above all else. I don't think she ever took herself too seriously and probably got a bit frustrated at the rest of us when we often did.
Despite working every day until a few years ago when she could no longer drive and enduring the pain of the loss of a husband and daughter, she loved life. She knew the meaning of life and tried to milk every once of it from each day. And how she did that was the subject of the stories we told. Hazel looked for the humor in everything, and if it wasn't evident, she would create it. Life was never dull when she was around.
Maybe that is what each of us fear the most......where will that spark, that sparkle come from now that she has left us? Will we fade into mundane lives now that she isn't here to point out the folly of it all?
After several hours, we said our goodbyes with gratitude for the therapy the evening provided. On my long drive back home, it occurred to me that this was the sort of evening Hazel would have looked forward to all day. She would have planned this sort of gathering and invited these exact same people to this exact same place. And for the first time in seven days.........I found comfort.
Rest in peace my dear friend........you will never be far from my heart.
